uneventful

the story of my life

sometimes I don’t get how I have the most boring life ever. for someone who has so many “friends” I really don’t have any. my work defined my life way more than I wanted it to and way more than I realized it until it was gone.

what did I do today?? I got up at 2ish, got way too dressed for no reason, and did pretty much of nothing for the vast majority of my day. what am I dong now? the same nothing I’ve been doing all day.

sometimes I wonder if I didn’t exist, or better yet if I just disappeared would anyone really care to notice. I always say if I died no one, not one person would say “I just lost the love of my life”

and I’m tired of all that “life is what you make of it bullshit” I’m very well aware of that but you can only make so much depending on where you are.

and another thing. I miss my camera. as much as I hated it I miss it. really as uneventful as my life is right now I really should just drop a good $800 on a camera, at least it would give me something to do.

and on the work front even with this new gig how much in reality am I going to be doing

and my comfort zone, the one thing or people who have been stable (as stable as they can be) won’t or is it don’t want me around off of something that shouldn’t be as big of a deal as it is. yes people its pretty painfully fucking heartbreaking as much as I probably never have admitted openly

maybe I should try drugs